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Amber-Allen Publishing

The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship: A Toltec Wisdom Book

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Format: Paperback, Big Book


Description

In The Mastery of Love, don Miguel Ruiz illuminates the fear-based beliefs and assumptions that undermine love and lead to suffering and drama in our relationships. Using insightful stories to bring his message to life, Ruiz shows us how to heal our emotional wounds, recover the freedom and joy that are our birthright, and restore the spirit of playfulness that is vital to loving relationships. The Mastery of Love includes: • Why "domestication" and the "image of perfection" lead to self-rejection • The war of control that slowly destroys most relationships • Why we hunt for love in others, and how to capture the love inside us • How to finally accept and forgive ourselves and others "Happiness can only come from inside of you and is the result of your love. When you are aware that no one else can make you happy, and that happiness is the result of your love, this becomes the greatest mastery of the Toltec: the Mastery of Love." — don Miguel Ruiz Read more

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Amber-Allen Publishing (March 30, 1999)


Language ‏ : ‎ English


Paperback ‏ : ‎ 210 pages


ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1878424424


ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 26


Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds


Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5 x 0.6 x 7.25 inches


Best Sellers Rank: #2,505 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #7 in New Thought #13 in Love & Romance (Books) #63 in Personal Transformation Self-Help


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Top Amazon Reviews

    • A Must Read!
This book has a lot of good information in it, and while I think it's information that we all know deep down, sometimes you need someone to plainly say it (or write it) to remind you. At least that is how it was in my case. When I read it the first time I remember loving it, it was brilliant and while I didn't feel like I agreed with everything in it, a lot of what was taught in it shaped some of my views on love. At the time, I hadn't had much experience in relationships, in fact I think it was pretty recent after the end of my very first relationship. However, a lot of what was in this book really stuck with me, so just before Yule this year I took the time to run to the store and pick up two copies of it. One for my boyfriend (as a gift) and one for myself to read again. Really, I'm glad that I did. Reading it this time, I feel like I agreed with a lot more of what he said, and that I soaked more of it in. It didn't do much to change how I feel about relationships or love, because they were pretty similar to begin with. It did reaffirm them for me though, and put into words a lot of how I felt. Enough that when I finished reading it I had the urge to pass it along, so that a certain friend of mine could take the time and read it, in hopes that it would reaffirm things for him. Especially the most important things that deal with self love, self destruction, the "Parasite" inside of us all, and how the way others act should not affect us and vice versa. It really opened my eyes, and I feel like sharing the knowledge I feel I've gained from it. I'll probably buy it again in a few months. This book really speaks towards the way society can implant negative thoughts on us, and how we can be raised to believe them. We are all born innocent and full of love, and somewhere along the way we learn how to be distrustful, and how to be hurt, and to be hurtful in return. Our parents learned this while they grew, and they (along with the rest of society) then teach it to us as we grow up, and the cycle continues ever onward. Personally, I would hope that I have the strength to stop that cycle, and leave my children full of love and respect. Another thing it tells us, is the story of "The Man Who Didn't Believe in Love", which is now one of my favorite legends. It tells of a man who went around giving lectures on the non-existence of love, because so many people use it to manipulate each other. He says "love is like a drug" because in each relationship you have the "dealer" of the "drug" and the person who is addicted and keeps coming back for more. The stronger partner deals out the love, and the weaker tries to soak up as much of it as they can, and they take any abuse the dealer gives out too, because they think they need it so badly and that they can't get it anywhere else. He vows that he does not believe in love, because he has had many such experiences and refuses to let anyone manipulate him with this false emotion. So this man is walking through the park one day and he comes across a woman who is sitting in the grass crying. He stops to console her, and asks her why she is crying, and she replies "I am crying because love does not exist." The man is astounded, because he has finally found a woman who feels the same way he does. He talks to her, they develop a friendship, and soon they are spending all their time together. They never fight, and they never expect anything from each other, they have the perfect bond. One day when the man is away, he is contemplating his relationship with the woman. He realizes that what he feels for her must actually be love, and that he had been wrong all along. Love does exist, and it is much more pure and beautiful than anything he'd ever experienced. The man is so excited that he rushes home immediately to tell her how he feels about her. She, in turn, replies that she has felt this way for quite some time and has been afraid to tell him because of his disbelief in the emotion. The legend then tells that the man is so happy, that he goes outside and sends his happiness into the universe. His happiness is so large that it pulls a star down into his hands and he hurries to give it to the woman. The happiness is so overwhelming, that for a moment the woman hesitates, and in that moment of doubt she drops it and it shatters. Now there is a man who is wandering the Universe, broken and lonely because he once again believes that love does not exist. There is also a woman who sits at home waiting for the man who once loved her, feeling remorse for that one moment of doubt that ruined their relationship. So in asking yourself who was in the wrong, was it the woman who doubted for a moment? No, it was the man who decided to place his entire happiness in someones hands. If we place all of our happiness in the control of others, how can we ever expect to be happy? It is entirely up to us to be happy, and if we choose to be happy with someone else, we're all the better. We cannot rely on them to make us happy. The book delves into quite a bit more information regarding loving yourself and being a whole person. It also emphasizes my previous belief that you have to be happy on your own, if you can ever be happy with anyone else. You have to love yourself to fully love another, and you have to be an equal part to a relationship, and not rely on them. It is the same with friends, family, and anyone you encounter. In any case, I highly recommend this book to anyone, even if you read it simply to remind yourself of what you knew before. He has at least 3 other books that go along with it, and I plan on reading them as well. Remember, God = Love and God is inside of you. So YOU = LOVE. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on February 25, 2009 by Angie Golish
    • Amazing book but…
This book had some life changing insight but I wouldn’t count this as a relationship book. It more so focused on making sure to heal yourself before engaging in a relationship
Reviewed in the United States on July 24, 2024 by Heather
    • Great read
Love the author ✍️
Reviewed in the United States on September 15, 2024 by Lasheika Grayson
    • speechless
Love the prayers at the end 😭 An eye opening about love and how to give love and live like it’s the last day
Reviewed in the United States on July 21, 2024 by Ana
    • Must read
Everyone should read this and the four agreements, also good on audible if you have ADHD.
Reviewed in the United States on November 16, 2024 by John Orozco
    • Not for the faint hearted
In alignment with the ideas and principles shown in Ruiz's The Four Agreements, the Mastery of Love approaches the basics of human relationships (romantic and non romantic) by going to the root of what love is, and how true happiness can be found and achieved. Don Miguel Ruiz uses many metaphorical stories and fables to make his points, and, despite the simplicity of the language, he is able to convey deep and meaningful concepts. Some of the lessons this book teaches are: - To have a successful relationship with anybody, no matter the type, you have to work mostly on yourself. - If you don't truly genuinely love yourself, nobody will. - If you don't respect yourself, nobody will. Actually, they'll abuse you. - If you don't accept your body as it is, you are disrespecting yourself, you become insecure and an easy pray to your own and everybody else's criticism. Physical beauty is just an ever-changing idea that means nothing. - See people for what they are, not for what they could be. - Accept people for what they are, not for what you want them to be. - If your partner doesn't have what you are looking for, look for another partner. - Don't try to change the other person. People don't change that much. - You can't find happiness unless you are already happy inside. - You can't find happiness if fear rules your life. - People vibrate at the same frequency levels and find/meet who they "are", not what they are looking for. - Don't let your believe system (partly family inherited) and programming (Social/cultural conditioning) rule your life. You want to dream your own dreams, not somebody else's. - Be true to who you are, and don't fake what you are not. The latter takes much more effort and makes your life more difficult and less fulfilled. - Forgiveness makes you happier, as cleans out the poison in your emotional body. - Accept that we are mind and body, and that our animal instincts are nothing to be ashamed of. - In a couple, the only half you can control is you. - Improvement is a a fight against your social programming, a 24/7 battle against yourself and your thoughts and emotional reactions. - We perceive the world with the eyes of our emotions. If they are dirty, we see a dirty world. If you see it rosy, rosy it is. The book is very philosophical, and helps to clear up our mind when we have doubts about a date, a person with whom we are starting a relationship, or a partner/relative with whom we are having communication or relation problems. The book is also repetitive, ruthless and pitiless. In a way, tells us to stop with the excuses we give ourselves, do something or shut up. This is not a book for the faint hearted. Don't read it thinking that you will find a magic potion to date the hot new guy/girl on the block or sort out your family relationships. Still, it is a book worth reading, because in its few pages provides us with many useful ideas to ponder about what human connection is and can be. Despite its title, the Mastery of Love lacks a bit of practicality regarding techniques to implement the advice given, except for some exceptions, and some final prayers, which aren't of much help if you aren't a believer. For ex. if you don't love yourself, how do learn to love yourself? f you are blind and you cannot see, how can do you open your eyes? If you have been abused since childhood, how do you learn to stop the abuse? If you are with somebody who has addictions, mental problems or anger issues, what do you do? Abandon him? Should you abandon any person with whom you don't have a fluffy initial relationship? That sort of questions. Although some of the things Ruiz mentions can be easily accepted, at least at an intellectual and spiritual level, the lack of practical techniques and exercises makes difficult for the reader to go from the intellectual/spiritual acceptance of the ideas and principles mentioned in the book, to a place where things flow naturally from the heart and you experience those feelings yourself. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on February 3, 2013 by M. T. D. C. M.
    • Good companion book to the Four Agreements
Same good quality reading material as The Four Agreements.
Reviewed in the United States on September 1, 2024 by Jignobilis

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