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All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood

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Description

“Salted with insights and epigrams, the book is argued with bracing honesty and flashes of authentic wisdom…[an] excellent book.”—Andrew Solomon, The New York Times Book Review"[A] richly woven, entertaining, enlightening, wrenching and funny book.”—The Washington PostThe instant New York Times bestseller that the Christian Science Monitor declared "an important book, much the way The Feminine Mystique was, because it offers parents a common language, an understanding that they're not alone."Thousands of books have examined the effects of parents on their children. But almost none have thought to ask: What are the effects of children on their parents?In All Joy and No Fun, award-winning journalist Jennifer Senior analyzes the many ways children reshape their parents' lives, whether it's their marriages, their jobs, their habits, their hobbies, their friendships, or their internal senses of self. She argues that changes in the last half century have radically altered the roles of today's mothers and fathers, making their mandates at once more complex and far less clear. Recruiting from a wide variety of sources—in history, sociology, economics, psychology, philosophy, and anthropology—she dissects both the timeless strains of parenting and the ones that are brand new, and then brings her research to life in the homes of ordinary parents around the country. The result is an unforgettable series of family portraits, starting with parents of young children and progressing in later chapters to parents of teens. Through lively and accessible storytelling, Senior follows these mothers and fathers as they wrestle with some of parenthood's deepest vexations—and luxuriate in some of its finest rewards.Meticulously researched yet imbued with emotional intelligence, All Joy and No Fun makes us reconsider some of our culture's most basic beliefs about parenthood, all while illuminating the profound ways children deepen and add purpose to our lives. By focusing on parenthood, rather than parenting, the book is original and essential reading for mothers and fathers of today—and tomorrow. Read more

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Ecco; Reprint edition (January 20, 2015)


Language ‏ : ‎ English


Paperback ‏ : ‎ 336 pages


ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0062072242


ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 45


Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 8.6 ounces


Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.31 x 0.76 x 8 inches


Best Sellers Rank: #106,278 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #74 in Sociology of Marriage & Family (Books) #236 in Popular Child Psychology #430 in Motherhood (Books)


#74 in Sociology of Marriage & Family (Books):


#236 in Popular Child Psychology:


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If you place your order now, the estimated arrival date for this product is: Saturday, Nov 23

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Top Amazon Reviews


  • Excellent book; A perfect gift for any new parent . . .
I really loved this book and would highly recommend it to anyone with kids, but particularly to new parents who may not yet fully comprehend how much their lives are about to change. If you've heard about this book and are on the fence about buying it, Senior has been interviewed numerous times recently so there's a lot out there if you want to get a better sense of her. Though, of all the interviews, I'd recommend listening to the interview she gave to NPR's Bob Edwards' Weekend on March 8th. This interview will give you a good sense of her writing style, personality, and the messages the book tries to convey (also her interview on NPR's Fresh Air was another good one. But, I quite liked the Bob Edwards one a bit more). To be frank, I wrestled with giving this book four or five stars. I was more inclined to give this book only four stars (it was a great read, I loved it, and I would highly recommend it. But, was it one of the absolute best books I've ever read? No, not really.). Yet, I gave it five stars because I finished it almost a month ago and I'm still thinking about it. I'm still mulling over all the very complicated feelings I'm having as a (relatively) new father and I think Senior's written a book that makes one step back and really ponder who we've become as parents in the modern age. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on March 8, 2014 by Desert Diplomat

  • Worth the read, even for harried parents
I'm writing this on my husband's account. He reads a lot, but I don't read many books - I have two kids, a crazy full-time job, and I almost always read news articles rather than books. I read a lot of news. But this book I read very quickly and with great interest. Part of it is that it's extremely well written. But it's also just interesting. And there are worthwhile insights. It's one of the most thoughtful pieces of writing I've ever seen. It does borrow heavily from other writers - a lot of quoting other books - but that's OK. There's enough synthesis, and I'd never read any of the other books she draws from. There is a vaguely "unfinished" quality to it, though. The sense you get is that she just quit writing one day and just didn't start the next day and this continued until it went to the printer. That's OK too. Importantly, she touches on a theme that's been on my mind for some time, which is that we do not know what world we are preparing our kids for. We will only barely live in their world and can't really imagine the skills and abilities they will need to compete for what undoubtedly will be ever-diminishing resources. This has been on my mind for 11 years, and she nails this. I had never seen anyone else discuss this before. She pretty much concludes that this issue is why parents are so over the top these days, with ridiculous schedules and activities and for their kids. Since they can't figure out what's ahead, they are trying to ready them for anything and everything. As a parent, I make all my decisions with this concern firmly in mind, though I have concluded that whatever is ahead, my kids will need to be able to solve problems to succeed, so I try to focus on that. Read the book. It's quick and worth it. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on March 24, 2014 by D. Solov

  • this book puts it all together
This book was recommended to me by someone to whom I've spoken a lot about my personal struggles with being a working (and commuting) mom to a now 3 year old--the fatigue, the fear of missing out, the anxiety, the loneliness and lack of time for myself or for my friends. It was the best recommendation I could have gotten. Jennifer Senior brings all the elements together: personal stories of parents, sociological and psychological research, and historical perspective. The result is a realistic sense of why parents struggle the way many of us do, but also of why being parents brings us such joy and meaning even though it can be hard. I found this book very comforting. I will caution though that the early chapters focus a little more on the "no fun" part, and it is in the later chapters that you get to the "all joy" so you might want to stick it out if you find it harder going at first. I thought ALL of it was valuable, even though it brought up plenty of feelings, not all of which were totally comfortable for me. I highlighted a LOT of passages that I know I will want to revisit and think about more later on. I suspect I'll want to reread it every year or two as my daughter grows up and my circumstances, struggles, and yes, joys, develop and change. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on February 17, 2014 by Holly

  • Couldn't finish it... but still may pick it up!
Similar to Emily Oster's "Expecting Better", this book shares a lot of solid research about parenting in an easy to read format. Unfortunately, I got bogged down with some of the details and a little depressed about the gloom and doom of being new parents. I'm still a new mom, so I may have to wait until I can get into a mental space to read this. It was highly recommended by a friend and provides a realistic view on life -- something that I appreciate! ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on June 24, 2014 by Meredith

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