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Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day

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Publisher ‏ : ‎ Fireside; Original ed. edition (August 18, 2000)


Language ‏ : ‎ English


Paperback ‏ : ‎ 288 pages


ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0684868067


ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 66


Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 8.6 ounces


Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.7 x 8.44 inches


Best Sellers Rank: #45,080 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #372 in Marriage #379 in Interpersonal Relations (Books) #1,560 in Personal Transformation Self-Help


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#379 in Interpersonal Relations (Books):


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Top Amazon Reviews

    • Christian book
While I don't really have anything against Christian books or Christian authors, I do think they should be up front about where they're coming from. If I want to buy a Christian book on Boundaries, there is no better book than "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend. I bought this particular book to get a different viewpoint, but alas, no. There's nothing new or exciting in this book, and the revelation that it's all coming from a Christian viewpoint is not fully revealed until half-way through the book. I've thrown it out. I can't even donate it. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on March 20, 2020 by S. Gardner
    • Good advice for a variety of situations
This is an excellent practical resource on how to set boundaries. I’d recommend starting with _Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin_ to set the stage for what boundaries are and why you want/need them. For many people, this comes naturally as you grow up. If you come from a family with codependent / narcissistic / abusive traits, this can seem like a foreign concept. I got this book for someone close to me, but I also read it myself. It was a huge eye-opener for my friend, and it helped me know how to best support them as they start to enforce boundaries with the toxic people in their life. I highly recommend both this and her original Boundaries book. Basically, setting boundaries is communicating to others how you want to be treated. Enforcing those boundaries can sometimes be uncomfortable, as you do have stand up to someone who isn’t respecting you. This book helps you understand how to approach setting and enforcing boundaries, particularly with unhealthy people who would rather exert control over you. There is no religious component to the books, other than addressing what appropriate boundaries should be with people in positions of power, like clergy. This was a positive thing for me, although there are religious based books on boundaries if that’s your preference. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on June 15, 2018 by Rebecca M.
    • ... psychologist and I think this is one of the best boundary setting books out there
I'm a psychologist and I think this is one of the best boundary setting books out there! I find it relevant to most of my patients and it's one of 4 books that I recommend at the onset of therapy.
Reviewed in the United States on November 4, 2017 by Live & LetLive
    • Great book! I highly recommend it!
This is a great book if you are struggling with understanding and defining boundaries. I really loved Anne's perspective and her thought process. Some of what she talks about is what I have learned through painful trial and error. So, if your boundaries feel fuzzy, this is a great book to get. I learned several new things and a clearer way of thinking about boundaries. For example: Anne talks about how it is the person with the lesser involvement who will define what sort of a relationship it is. This is true for all relationships. For example: If you have a friend who doesn't want a close friend but wants to keep you in their outer circle while you treat them as part of the inner circle, your friendship will remain a casual one. And this goes for romantic relationships and all other relationships. I had never quite thought about this so clearly. While we define our boundaries, we also need to be able to see other people's boundaries so we are clear and can create the relationships we want. This is just one example of something I learned from this book. This is a book that talks with clarity about this really important struggle in many of our lives. Highly recommend! ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on January 29, 2020 by Ritu K.
    • I can better see how I have been a boundary violator and ...
I am halfway through the book and I am learning so much about boundary violations, communication styles and how to set healthy boundaries. This was a tough topic for me as I did not learn much of this growing up and as a result my relationships have suffered. I can better see how I have been a boundary violator and a poor boundary setter. I enjoy the realistic examples with detailed explanations that breakdown what is occurring in the communication. This book is very user friendly and set in a conversational tone. No need to have a degree to grasp the concepts here. It reminds me of the accessibility and fun of Brene Brown's books. Highly recommended! ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on April 22, 2017 by Amazon Customer
    • Caution: Will Change Your Life
Read this in kindle format and will be ordering the physical book so I can re-read and experience it again. My whole life I have struggled with boundary setting with others, for fear of the "consequences" of having a voice. This book has freed me, and will continue to free me as I practice this new skill in real life. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on June 12, 2016 by L. Wingard
    • An important book
As someone raised by a borderline father and passive mother, I have many, many survival skills and essentially no bounderies. Finally I can see how to help myself and why boundaries matter.
Reviewed in the United States on December 30, 2016 by Kindle Customer
    • Great and written with gentle humor.
She is aware of how explosive situations where boundaries are violated can get, and except where your life is in danger, she urges the use of firm, but sometimes funny ways of asserting yourself. Its not so much trying to get the other person to laugh as it is reminding yourself that a pervasive boundary-trampler is NOT normal and that actually few people mean you harm when they overstep a boundary. BUT it is still important to assert yourself so the mistake is not made again,. Good stuff on how to deal with those who are simply clueless and those who are perennial boundary-smashers, such as the massively self-absorbed or even the personality disordered. There are all types out there! And we come into contact with them everyday. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on July 22, 2015 by M. Michaels

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