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HarperOne

The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World

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Description

Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Nobel Peace Prize winner, Chair of The Elders, and Chair of South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission, along with his daughter, the Reverend Mpho Tutu, offer a manual on the art of forgiveness—helping us to realize that we are all capable of healing and transformation.Tutu's role as the Chair of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission taught him much about forgiveness. If you asked anyone what they thought was going to happen to South Africa after apartheid, almost universally it was predicted that the country would be devastated by a comprehensive bloodbath. Yet, instead of revenge and retribution, this new nation chose to tread the difficult path of confession, forgiveness, and reconciliation.Each of us has a deep need to forgive and to be forgiven. After much reflection on the process of forgiveness, Tutu has seen that there are four important steps to healing: Admitting the wrong and acknowledging the harm; Telling one's story and witnessing the anguish; Asking for forgiveness and granting forgiveness; and renewing or releasing the relationship. Forgiveness is hard work. Sometimes it even feels like an impossible task. But it is only through walking this fourfold path that Tutu says we can free ourselves of the endless and unyielding cycle of pain and retribution. The Book of Forgiving is both a touchstone and a tool, offering Tutu's wise advice and showing the way to experience forgiveness. Ultimately, forgiving is the only means we have to heal ourselves and our aching world. Read more

Publisher ‏ : ‎ HarperOne; Reprint edition (April 7, 2015)


Language ‏ : ‎ English


Paperback ‏ : ‎ 240 pages


ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0062203576


ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 71


Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds


Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.31 x 0.54 x 8 inches


Best Sellers Rank: #19,754 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #159 in Spiritual Self-Help (Books) #253 in Christian Self Help #365 in Happiness Self-Help


#159 in Spiritual Self-Help (Books):


#253 in Christian Self Help:


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Top Amazon Reviews

    • Book: Forgiveness
Love content and fact that is written by Desmond Tutu.
Reviewed in the United States on February 12, 2024 by TONYA V.
    • Great book!
Much to apply to my daily life. Clear, easy to understand. Short book but many ideas.
Reviewed in the United States on December 4, 2023 by Maren Sandra Jansen
    • Life changing!!
I’m so glad I got this book! Many things have happened in my life have been very difficult for me to deal with and get over. I knew I had to forgive, I just didn’t know how to do it prayer helped, but it’s still going to go away. This, but this book gives you very specific and profound advice that helping me to finally find peace. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on September 15, 2023 by stacey
    • “I would like to share with you two simple truths: there is nothing that cannot be forgiven, and there is no one undeserving of forgiveness.”
Forgiveness is a difficult trait for me to master. I find myself holding grudges towards someone making a snide comment or looking at me funny. There are also moments where I feel that a person has wronged me in more serious ways, and those grudges are even harder to free myself of. These emotions have done me no favors, and I would do well to let them go. But that is much easier said than done. In this book, Desmond Tutu and his daughter Mpho instruct how to forgive and how to be forgiven. I know that I will refer back to this book when I find myself in dark times. With clarity and powerful anecdotes, the authors delineate what you must do in order to forgive someone in a way that makes sense and is easy to implement. There are tangible steps that one can take to forgive, and the authors lay out those steps in a way that is grounded and understandable. I would not call this book religious at all, but it does have moments of spirituality. These include poems and mindfulness exercises that people can use to help them forgive. None of these resonated with me, but others might find them useful. The core content of this book, though, is down to earth and never once do the authors take a holier than thou attitude (an attitude which Desmond Tutu of all people would have every right to take). I value this book because it gives me the in-the-moment thoughts and actions I must take to forgive, and also gives me answers as to why and how I must forgive. I consider this book life-changing because it can directly act on me to make me a better person. Overall, we need to forgive for our own peace more so than for anyone else. If you find yourself in a place where you have anything from deeply ingrained grudges to severe trauma, this book might help you. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on January 23, 2020 by Jeet
    • reconcilation as the goal of forgiveness for hard cases
Good morning Pastor Jim and Pastor Clayton, I suggest you read this book. Why? He is a bishop in the Anglican church and is from South Africa. He lived there during the time of apartheid and afterwards. He talks about the "truth and reconciliation" committee and how forgiveness fit in, in South Africa His term is the 4 fold way of forgiveness which is the primary scope of the book. I think he may have some insight to help us in today's troubling [racist] times; Why? South Africa addressed racism; to avoid a possible blood bath. He addresses hard cases that many books on forgiveness ignore. Reconciliation may mean "restoring" a relationship and sometimes mean "releasing" that relationship, especially for the hard cases. In his last chapter he talks about use of his forgiveness approach in neighboring countries (e.g. Rwanda) where they had one black tribe trying to wipe out another black tribe. He also addresses northern Ireland protestants and roman Catholics at war with each other and what eventually happened through forgiveness. I read the book and I don't agree with everything he said. Sometimes I would have used different words because my context was different; And sometimes it sounds more like self-help rather than God-help. You the reader can decide. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on March 12, 2021 by John
    • It's a Masterpiece
Over the years I've heard the "tsk, tsk, tsk, you must forgive if you want to be forgiven" sermon coming from various pulpits more times than I care to remember. Not once have I heard a sermon telling people HOW to heal the deep wounds of a heart and soul torn and wounded by unimaginable abuses and/or tragedies. Likewise with various Christian commentaries I read over the years. God knows I tried to forgive the way most churches explain forgiveness (by just pretending it didn't hurt or simply stuffing the bad feelings down and never talking about the abuse) thereby completely eliminating the very first step of the fourfold path to forgiveness described in this book. Spiritually, I likely resembled one of those hypocritical white washed tombs Christ railed against, which is ironic because I was actually trying so hard to be a good Christian then. If you are one of those Christians who think the way to forgive is to just instantaneously get over it, ask yourself this. Did the good Samaritan lecture the victim on the side of the road about the necessity of forgiving his perpetrator and then simply walk away? No, he tended to the victim's wounds. Likewise, the authors of this book care for the wounded. Rather than simply taking biblical passages out of context and reciting the typically inadequate, rote lectures on how one should, must, and ought to forgive, they talk about the process of forgiveness. And yes, they use the word "process" because deep, gashing wounds require tender care and may need time to heal. One can almost hear all the shoulds, musts, oughts and or elses as they fall to the floor clanging like heavy metal chains, mercifully releasing wounded captives as the authors tenderly explain how to walk through the grief process and let the great physician (God) cleanse and purify wounded hearts (much like a doctor would cleanse a physical wound instead of ignoring it or slapping a band aid on a severe injury). It can be an excruciatingly painful process, but the authors are right when they say "the only way out of what hurts is though it." ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on June 15, 2015 by Texasgoldengirl
    • This book is very good
In the process of reading so far has good advice.
Reviewed in the United States on October 25, 2023 by flowermade

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