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Harper Perennial

Teach Your Children Well: Why Values and Coping Skills Matter More Than Grades, Trophies, or "Fat Envelopes"

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Description

“Madeline Levine masterfully empowers parents to nurture each child’s unique gifts and to look beyond a narrow, short-sighted definition of success and instead to keep our eyes on the real goal of parenting - building young people who will do well now and throughout adult life. For the sake of the adults of tomorrow, I hope that Teach Your Children Well becomes a must-read and must- discuss book for parents today.” — Kenneth R. Ginsburg MD, MS Ed, author of Letting Go with Love and Confidence and Building Resilience in Children and TeensPsychologist Madeline Levine brings together cutting-edge research and thirty years of clinical experience to explode once and for all the myth that good grades, high test scores, and college acceptances should define the parenting endgame.Parents, educators, and the media wring their hands about the escalating rates of emotional problems and lack of real engagement with learning found so frequently among America’s children and teens. Yet there are ways to reverse these disheartening trends. Until we are clearer about our core values and the parenting choices that are most likely to lead to authentic, and not superficial, success, we will continue to raise exhausted, externally driven, and emotionally impaired children who believe they are only as good as their last performance.Confronting the real issues behind why we push some of our kids to the breaking point while dismissing the talents and interests of many others, Levine shows us how to shift our focus from the excesses of hyperparenting and the unhealthy reliance on our children for status and meaning to a parenting style that concentrates on both enabling academic success and developing a sense of purpose, well-being, and connection in our children’s lives. Read more

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Harper Perennial; Reprint edition (December 6, 2016)


Language ‏ : ‎ English


Paperback ‏ : ‎ 352 pages


ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0062196847


ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 42


Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 9.6 ounces


Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.31 x 0.79 x 8 inches


Best Sellers Rank: #242,113 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #165 in School-Age Children Parenting #260 in Medical Child Psychology #480 in Popular Child Psychology


#165 in School-Age Children Parenting:


#260 in Medical Child Psychology:


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Top Amazon Reviews

    • Informative Read Fit for all Parents!
This book is timely and insightful. It really helped me shift my perspective regarding what my role is as a parent, particularly what I owe my children in terms of providing opportunities for success. The author does a convincing job of portraying what true, or authentic, success really looks like. She explains why society's view of success frequently does not align with this more authentic form of success, starting with how we teach our children. As a soon-to-be first time mom, I find the book very useful. I was struggling to know how I can go about shaping my children's character, while allowing and encouraging them to be themselves, yet also ensuring they are afforded the best opportunities for success in their careers as adults. It seemed to me that the most obvious task as a parent was to equip children to be able to provide for themselves an independent living as adults. However, the author presents good evidence that this form of "success" is often accompanied by meaninglessness, hopelessness, anxiety, self-doubt, depression, and even substance abuse. Did I really want my child to grow up to be financially successful if it meant working a job they felt was boring and meaningless, living a life they did not want nor value, a life which did not fit who they were authentically or use their God-given talents? Of course not! I am so thankful that I will have this book to guide me as my child is born and then develops across the years. There are chapters describing the main challenges and tasks for all the major age ranges. The author uses her experience as an educational counselor for many years (anecdotes from cases she has worked with) as well as evidence from studies that help inform how these different parenting and teaching choices actually affect our children. I would HIGHLY recommend to any and all parents (past, present, and future!). ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on September 29, 2012 by Serenity DP
    • Solid, Wise, and Forgiving (and well-written!)
You know how you feel about a friend who is solid, wise, and forgiving? That's the sense I got when I was reading this book. We can't control everything -- our children will have days when they are happy and days when they are sad. They will master some skills and others will never come easy to them. They will have friends who make them better people and some who are not the best influences. What this book does is give us plenty of food for thought as we parent these children so they can make their way in the world, as imperfect as they, and the world, are. Teach Your Children Well is more than a how-to. It's well-written and thought provoking. You'll see in other reviews that not everyone agrees with all of the author's views. That brings me back to the solid, wise, and forgiving friend -- do you agree with that friend about everything? Probably not, but what an advantage to have his or her counsel. The author is a psychologist with years of clinical experience and children of her own. Whatever your style of parenting, I believe this book will speak to you. Highly recommended, no matter what your children's ages. I'm going to suggest it for my book club. A lot to discuss! ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on September 13, 2012 by reading widely
    • Solid. Worth a Read.
Levine's savvy advice and matter of fact tone give pause to the rat-race that parenting can (and has) become. Peer pressure is not just an issue for our kids, but for parents. Levine challenges parents to reconsider the urge to keep up with our own peer group and American culture which generally includes fixing things, giving kids every opportunity to be tops, and sometimes giving up on what makes us "us" - all in the name of good parenting. The reality is that we cannot "give" that type of success to our kids nor should we project our hopes and expectations on them. We can honor the person they are, have an awareness of what the seminal tasks are at each stage of development and coach our kids (and others) to make good choices given a reasonable set of opportunities. And when necessary, watch as they problem-solve and learn to accept failure and mistakes. It's here where the rubber meets the road - where children get to try in age appropriate and safe ways to see what happens when they make choices or to fix things when they start to slip. Then to feel the satisfaction that comes with resourcefulness and self-confidence, to manage the negative emotions that often accompany such "failures" and collect life experience that will prepare them for the complexities which lie ahead. So many parents get uncomfortable at this stage, myself included. So uncomfortable that they become the fixers or the console-ers who inadvertently foster a false sense of reality or self-esteem, rather than arming kids with tools they need to be accustomed to being imperfect and adaptive in a world full of challenges and changes. Lisa Dewey Wells Writer, Consultant, Teacher Wonder of Children Read more on my blog, [...] ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on October 4, 2012 by Lisa Wells
    • I wish this book had been published years ago!
As I write this, I am the proud parent of a college freshman, a high school freshman, and a fourth grader. I have found Dr. Levine's observations to be insightful, reasonable, rational, and realistic in so many regards to approaching parenting. Even as I was reading the book, we went through one of the very crises Dr. Levine outlines! More importantly, I have seen so many of the scenarios that Dr. Levine describes either in my own parenting experiences or in those of friends, neighbors, or the school community. I appreciated that the issues were discussed in such a real-life, parent-to-parent manner, as opposed to doctor-to-parent. As Dr. Levine stresses, no one author/book can advise us specifically in regard to our kids, since every child is so unique and different, even within the same family. We need to get to know our own children and what they're up against, and Dr. Levine gives clear and reasonable advice. I didn't expect to write a review-- I was actually online to buy 3+ (maybe more) paperback copies (mine is on my iPad) for friends and school counselors. I believe that parents should help each other out. Parenting kids is such an incredible, miraculous, CHALLENGING job, and we need all the help we can get! Many thanks to Dr. Levine for sharing! ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on September 7, 2012 by AvidReader

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