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Harper Business

Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It

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Format: Hardcover


Description

A former international hostage negotiator for the FBI offers a new, field- tested approach to high-stakes negotiations―whether in the boardroom or at home. A Wall Street Journal Bestseller After a stint policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Missouri, Chris Voss joined the FBI, where his career as a hostage negotiator brought him face-to-face with a range of criminals, including bank robbers and terrorists. Reaching the pinnacle of his profession, he became the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator. Never Split the Difference takes you inside the world of high-stakes negotiations and into Voss’s head, revealing the skills that helped him and his colleagues succeed where it mattered most: saving lives. In this practical guide, he shares the nine effective principles―counterintuitive tactics and strategies―you too can use to become more persuasive in both your professional and personal life.Life is a series of negotiations you should be prepared for: buying a car, negotiating a salary, buying a home, renegotiating rent, deliberating with your partner. Taking emotional intelligence and intuition to the next level, Never Split the Difference gives you the competitive edge in any discussion. Read more


Publisher ‏ : ‎ Harper Business; 1st edition (May 17, 2016)


Language ‏ : ‎ English


Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 288 pages


ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0062407805


ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 01


Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 14.1 ounces


Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 1.3 x 6.3 x 9.1 inches


Best Sellers Rank: #307 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #2 in Business Negotiating (Books) #4 in Communication Skills #24 in Success Self-Help


#2 in Business Negotiating (Books):


#4 in Communication Skills:


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Top Amazon Reviews

    • A Refreshing Take on Negotiation
Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss offers a unique perspective on the art of negotiation, breaking away from the conventional win-win approach. Voss emphasizes the importance of human emotions in negotiations, making it a standout read for those who want to understand the intricacies of human interactions. Rather than providing a formulaic process, Voss focuses on the emotional side of negotiations. He recognizes that understanding the wants and desires of the other party is paramount when it comes to achieving favorable outcomes. This approach makes the book particularly insightful and resonates with readers as they navigate real-life situations. One of the most engaging aspects of the book is the inclusion of example stories. These anecdotes not only make for interesting reading but also help reinforce the concepts presented. Though the book could have been more concise, it does an excellent job of conveying its ideas and provoking thought. Overall, Never Split the Difference is an eye-opening read for anyone looking to hone their negotiation skills and develop a deeper understanding of human behavior. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on March 19, 2023 by Todd
    • It’s emotional intelligence on steroids
This is a phenomenal book, written by an author who spent the majority of his 24 years career as the lead international kidnapping negotiator for the FBI and its hostage negotiation representative for the National Security Council’s Hostage Working Group. Apart from trained by the bureau, he was also trained in Scotland Yard and Harvard Law School. But first and foremost, his negotiation techniques come directly from the tried and tested field, from his experience in the deep jungle of Ecuador, to the separatist area of the Philippines, the slumps of Tahiti, to the many occurrences from within the US including bank robberies, a prison coup, and that bomb threat incident that got Washington DC into a lockdown for 48 hours. Indeed, reading this book feels like watching a very intense action movie, with all the detailed, chaotic, and super-tense scenes. The many real-life lessons in the book also come from business world, board meeting battles, investment negotiations, and the various cases that his students faced, from high stake deals to as menial as asking a salary raise. Constructed the book using these real-life events, the author, Chris Voss, guides us through the negotiation tactics that worked and also the ones that didn’t, which ones became the FBI’s standard practice and which ones were so disastrous they literally cost lives and became the standard of what NOT to do. It is as if we jump directly into these many negotiation situations ourselves and Voss gives us on-the-job training and provides us with the pointers to the live action, which is exhilarating. And those techniques that became time-tested and have since molded into something near perfection? Voss teaches them all in this book. So what are the negotiation techniques? At its core lies active listening. Using a relaxed and friendly tone (or as Voss refer as “midnight FM DJ’s tone”), we first try to establish a rapport early on and listen to what our counterpart actually want, labelling their emotions, and validating their words (with the “I see”, “ok”, “uh-huh”, “yes” words). We then use mirroring, effective pauses, and calibrated questions to prompt for more reactions and dig for more information, all of which we eventually paraphrase and summarise to show them that we really understand their point of view, in order to create enough trust and feeling of safety for the real conversation to begin. In between the sequences, Voss teaches us several hacks, such as explaining why getting a “no” early on is important instead of getting two of the three “yes” (counterfeit, confirmation, and commitment). While a non-commitment “yes” can be used to just get away from the situation, a “no” can actually be an initial word to establish a sense of safety, security, and control for our counterpart, an important inner environment to get them relaxed and ready for a fruitful talk. The sequence then proceeds with the objection of getting a “that’s right” from them after we provide the summary, which would confirm where they stand in this negotiation and thus we can get a better measure of our leverages. Voss highlighted that there are 3 different types of leverage that we could identify in the conversation: positive (the ability to give people what they want), negative (the ability to hurt people), and normative (covers the principles and values that our counterpart have). Apart from leverages, different types of characters can also play a big role in the negotiation process, which Voss categorised into 3: the analyst, the accommodator, and the assertive. And he provides all the necessary tools on how to deal with each different one of them. Of course, the sequence is not rigid and should be fluid depending on the conversation, as we size them up, influence their sizing up on us, while keeping an eye on any potential Black Swans - which are clearly shown in the real-life examples. But none of these tools matter if we cannot control our own emotions, which is a critical part of the interaction. As Voss remark, “[i]f you can’t control your own emotions, how can you expect to influence the emotions of another party?” Negotiation is something we do every single day, whether we realised it or not, no matter how big or small, whether against a high profile counterpart or just bargaining with your own self. It serves two distinct but vital life functions - information gathering and behaviour influencing - where each party wants something from the other side. Hence, this book is a vital one to read, perhaps even one of the most important books you’ll ever going to read, due to its direct practicality for every kind of human interaction in any given situation. The importance of the lessons in this book can be seen from the 339 notes that I highlighted, almost twice as many as my normal average of 150+ in any book. It is easily the best book that I’ve read this year, and it’s right up there in the list of my favourite of all time. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on September 23, 2021 by edsetiadi
    • Good points, but takes long to get to them
The book shared unique tips that are new to me. I've started thinking about my conversations and the words I use already. The stories are great to hear but as others have said, it's a little wordy and would benefit from getting to the point quicker. Yes, he is probably egotistical and his mentality is to approach it from a competitive perspective, but you have to understand where he is coming from. If he doesn't win, someone's husband, wife, or child will die. I wouldn't want anyone else negotiating for my family. I give it four stars because I feel it could be more concise. Some of the publishers like to fluff the content and storytelling to make you feel like you are getting your money's worth, but for me, I don't read books for leisure or storytelling due to my personality and busy schedule, so it doesn't matter if he gets his points across in 50 pages or 250 pages, I'll pay the same price for the book. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on March 23, 2023 by Jared B

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